The Body Type Cafe

"Wasn't that a great movie, Todd?"

"Yeah, and that part where that thing jumps out….."

"From behind the tree!"

"I nearly sprang out of my seat."

"Me, too."

"That was a lot of fun."

"It was. So what do you want to do now? It's still early."

"Early? It's almost midnight, Kate."

"Well, for a first date, I still don't know much about you, Todd, except for the fact that you enjoy suspenseful movies. How about we go to a café, get some coffee, and chat. The Body Type Café on 4th and Broadway is open till 2:00 a.m."

"Sounds great, let's go."

_____

"How's the mocha, Todd?"

"It's good, especially with a little powdered chocolate. How's yours?"

"Fine, but then again, it's hard to screw up coffee. Now, if I remember correctly you were going to tell me all about yourself. It's good not to keep a woman waiting," she said as she meticulously stirred her coffee.

"All about myself? Did I say that?"



"No, but I still want to know. You did tell me you were a Kidney body type. Would you care to elaborate a little to appease my curiosity?"

"There's really not much to tell," he said with a grin.

"Are you being modest or just shy?"

"All right, Kate. I'll talk."

"That's better."

"Let me ask you this, though. What was your first impression of me?"

"I thought you were sensitive and in touch with your feelings. And by the way, I like that in a man."

"You're right about that. Kidney types are emotional, sensitive, and in touch with their feelings. At times, my feelings are an open book, but I usually want to work things out alone when I'm facing problems. As a kid and even now, I'm naturally good at helping others get in touch with their feelings and find solutions. That's one reason I decided to become a psychologist."

"What's the other reason?" she asked, slowly sipping her coffee.

"I like people. People are more important to me than material possessions. Home, family and children will always be high on my priority list. I've always felt that way."

"You really love kids, don't you?"

"I relate well to them. You know, I could be an excellent teacher if I wanted to change professions."

"So what were you like as a kid? I get this picture of a little brat always getting into trouble."

"Actually, I had difficulty sitting still in school. I have a high level of physical energy. Usually I have high energy periods late in the day, or my energy will shift in the evening."

"I kinda like that. What's one of your bigger challenges?"

"Procrastination. I spend too much time looking at different options. It's crucial that I have sufficient time to consider different options and feel comfortable choosing among them. Without that flexibility, I'm likely to feel uncomfortable, limited, boxed in, or trapped, and wind up procrastinating. I feel much more comfortable knowing that I have options."

"Don't we all. You know, Todd, that fear of being boxed in and trapped sounds a lot like fear of commitment."

"Well, for most Kidney types, that can be true. I've worked on that area myself, for my own personal growth. But once I'm committed to something, that's it. I don't waver."

"You're not just sweet talking me now, are you?"

"Of course not."

"I'm just giving you a hard time. I am curious, though. Back to that procrastination thing. It sounds interesting. I tend to be that way when it comes to work. How are you at work?"

"Typically, I work well with people — especially because I'm a good listener. I'm able to evaluate the words of others accurately and respond to them objectively."

"That's a good trick. I tend to react to what people say more on an emotional level and judge people too quickly."

"I'm not very judgemental. I usually like most of the people I come in contact with and find myself focusing on their positive qualities."

"What a philanthropist."

"Everyone can be, from time to time."

"Not everyone. But you, I think you love your job."

"I can easily become bored with it, too. I have difficulty staying focused on tasks that are conventional, routine, or repetitive. In circumstances like that I sometimes find it hard to tap into my energy. I'll lose my focus."

"So what do you do then?"

"I tackle new projects. It stimulates me and helps me build momentum where I otherwise would feel stuck. Having some sort of creative or nonconventional outlet is very important to me."

"It sounds like you need a lot of variety."

"I do. In fact, I’m typically more than ready to throw myself into a new venture and apply myself until it's done."

"Are you organized? I always like to know how a person keeps their desk."

"My desk? Well, let's just say that while I'm working on a project, I'm quite willing to let the work take over my entire work space."

"Are you compulsive with your work? You know, can't stop until it's done?"

"Sort of. A lot of times I'll work in spurts, giving a project my all till it's done. Then I collapse. As long as I'm motivated, interested in the project, and feel that I'm competent to do it well, I'll jump right in and go for it. Sometimes I even get the job done ahead of schedule."

"I've noticed you are friendly and helpful towards others. Are you that way with everyone?"

"To the point where I have to make sure I don't overextend or overcommit myself. It's essential to me that I don't put my own needs behind those of family and friends — which is a self-sacrificing tendency. It could be related to old fears of rejection and abandonment. I don't know for sure, but I do know that it can become a problem if I let it."

"I get the sense you can easily forget about yourself when you get absorbed in other things."

"That's true. I can get so immersed in what I'm doing that I can end up neglecting simple things like eating, sleeping, or getting adequate exercise. I really need to pay more attention to myself and my needs."

"I'll say. There's no balance in neglecting yourself."

"I know. It's just that I can really get wrapped up in things that I shouldn't. I've even spread myself too thin taking on more projects than I can handle at one time. It's just that I've had a problem with prioritizing my different interests. At the time I'm considering them, almost all of them seem to be extremely important."

"Are you able to finish them all?"

"No, some projects are left uncompleted or discarded altogether."

"You're a psychologist, Todd. What do you think about that?"

"I'd have to say that one of my key challenges has less to do with relating to others than with developing my self-confidence in areas where it's lacking. I need to really work on overcoming my personal fears that in one way or another have been keeping me stuck. In fact, I'll bet that my tendency to put things off is probably due to self-doubts or feelings of inadequacy."

"Those are some good insights. You seem kinda sensitive, though. Do you ever anguish over mistakes or things like that?"

"I do. The fear of making a mistake has, in the past, led me to ruminate over alternatives without ever coming to a clear decision. Indecisiveness like that can, in turn, lead to missed opportunities. For example, a common trap for me has been the difficulty of letting go of things, and dwelling on a situation or experience much longer than I should or need to."

"You also seem like quite the go-getter. I have a hard time believing that you get caught up in all that stuff without having your fair share of successes as well."

"At my best, I'm comfortable creating success in my life. I rise to the occasion when under pressure or when I have a deadline. I am quite capable of making decisions quickly and acting on gut feelings. I noticed this more once I developed my self-confidence to the degree that I no longer felt compelled to hold myself back."

"How do you get to that point?”

"By getting in touch with my feelings, which is easy for me. Then, being able to adequately express and vent what I'm feeling, either through writing things down or talking things out with others. This is very important."

"What else?"

"I need physical activity and a broad range of experiences. That's a major thing that has a strong effect on my well-being. Physical activity, especially of a creative nature, can also assist me to calm or center myself. I know Kidney types who find that things like gardening, sewing, interior decorating, exploring the outdoors, dancing, playing an instrument, engaging in a craft, or getting into more serious artistic endeavors are helpful ways of alleviating built-up stress, as well as satisfying deeper spiritual longings. New experiences, particularly those appealing to my imagination, represent a major motivating factor for me."

"With all that going for you, challenges don't seem like a big problem after all."

"It's been my experience that successfully meeting challenges has built my confidence and prepared me for my next experience. I've found that challenges have allowed me to move farther than I had ever dreamed possible.”

"Todd?"

"Yes?"

"I think we're going to have to carry this conversation on somewhere else. It looks like they're closing up."

"Okay, but it's your turn to fill me in about you."

"Fair enough."

"This has been fun."

"We'll have to do it again soon."

"Come on, I'll drive you home."

"Check, please.