The Body Type Cafe

"Wow, what kind of dessert is that? It looks fantastic."

"Dark chocolate cream pie."

"I didn't know they served that. I'm going to have to go over there and get one myself. Oh, by the way, my name is Tammy, and I'm sitting right over there, that table by the window. Why don't you come and join me."

"Ahh, well"

"You can tell me all about that cream pie, and I'll tell you all about me. I'll see you there in just a minute, okay?"

"Umm. Well? Oh, why not? The table in the corner?"

"No, the one by the window."

"Okay."

"Hi, I'm back."

"Yes, you are."

"You know, I didn't get your name."

"John. John Maxwell"

"It's certainly nice to meet you, John."

"Hi."



"You seem kind of nervous, I hope I didn't come across too bold, inviting you over here. I just thought it would be nice to chat, and get to know somebody new."

"Oh, no, that's fine. I just never had the pleasure of running into somebody as outgoing as you. I guess it's a little new for me. I'm beginning to think that you just might be an Adrenal type. Is that true?"

"Yea, how'd you know?"

"Well, you don't exactly come across as shy."

"That's because I'm not. In fact I could never understand why so many people are shy. My friends tell me that when I walk into a room I have no problem making myself known."

"Your friends are very observant."

"That's not an attitude I hear, is it?"

"NO, no, I was just giving you a hard time."

"Okay, but don't let it happen again."

"That's cute. You have a sense of humor too. What else is there that I don't know about Adrenal types?"

"You really want to go there?"

"You did say to come to your table, and you'd tell me all about yourself."

"I did, didn't I? Okay, then the first thing you should know is that I'm a high energy, high strength, and..."

"High endurance?"

"Yes, and a high endurance type of gal. Now don't interrupt me while I'm talking."

"Sorry."

"That's better."

"You're very charming."

"I try."

"Doesn't all that high energy make you feel a bit hyper?"

"Not really. But when I'm stressed, I get an "adrenaline rush"; that causes me to be hyperactive and scattered, sort of a nervous high. This is when I can end up running around in circles so to speak."

"What do you do when you exhaust your energy, Tammy? You do get tired once in a while, don't you?"

"I can usually remedy exhaustion by incorporating just the right amount of physical activity in my life. When I'm physically balanced, I can regain my mental and emotional balance as well."

"Exercise. I should have guessed."

"Anyway, like I was saying, Johnathan, I'm more oriented to my physical world than to what's going on with my inner feelings like so many others."

"Then how do you stay in touch with your feelings?"

"I tend to be somewhat detached from my emotions until they become pronounced, such as when I'm stressed to the point of blowing up in anger."

"Back to your emotions. You were trying to tell me that you are more in touch with your thoughts than your feelings. Is that right?"

"Yes."

"Then how do you know if you are upset about something?"

"Sometimes it can take a few moments. For instance, I might not be aware that something is bothering me until my feelings are already strongly aroused. At this point, I have such a build up of internal pressure I usually erupt; though I can't say I'm diplomatic about it."

"When you get mad, are you the type that lets anger smolder?"

"No. For me, I find that after I have my venting session, it's over just as suddenly as it began."

"You don't hold a grudge?"

"No, Johnathan. I rarely hold a grudge. Once I've expressed my feelings, the situation gets resolved so I can resume the relationship as though nothing had happened."

"Well, what about the other person? What if they can't simply continue like nothing has happened after having someone blow up at them?"

"I didn't say I was like that all the time, and besides, the people who care about me understand and don't take it personally."

"Oh, I see. Well, how do you handle things at work? I'm sure there are plenty of times where things could get you a bit flustered."

"Actually, I'm pretty independant in work situations. I'd rather handle a job by myself than seek advice or assistance from others. When I'm not sure how to do something, my immediate response is to "power" through it anyway. It's only when I hit a brick wall that I'll consider backing down and asking for help. In terms of being flustered, I'd say that the potential is there, just like it is for everyone else. It's just that since I'm oriented toward the external world, my self-esteem is linked both to my career success and approval. So, I'm more motivated to continue until I figure out the problem with my work than to find myself flustered and stuck."

"Why do you think it's linked to approval?"

"As a female Adrenal type, I have found myself needing to prove myself in a man's world. I'm also quite sensitive to rejection, and I'm strongly motivated to make a good impression on those around me."

"You're also quite outgoing, and I'd even say you're charismatic."

"I like that, tell me more."

"I'm just getting to know you, but I'm sure there are many more wonderful things to learn about you. You told me a little about work. I'm just curious. What kind of jobs would you say an Adrenal type gravitates towards?"

"I'm naturally hard-driving as well as competitve, so I've ended up enjoying sales, managerial and administrative positions. I have Adrenal friends who love teaching others who are in trade, industrial and tech, and some who do skilled trades, bodywork, and then there are professional athletes."

"With all that talent, do you ever get bored?"

"I put a great deal of energy into projects. But you're right, I need a high degree of external stimulation to keep my interest aroused, otherwise I can easily become bored."

"What happens then?"

"I just simply lose patience and move onto something else rather than following through on what I began earlier."

"I've done that myself in the past. What about entertainment? What kind of movies do you like?"

"Since I'm more mental than emotional, I'm into movies that make me think. Movies that I can approach analytically such as suspense, mystery, action and adventure, that sort of thing."

"You obviously have a very investigative, inquiring mind."

"You could say that. I do like to use my mind to solve concrete, down-to-earth problems. I've been that way since I was a kid. I remember in school being very good at surveying facts, seeing what needs to be done, and then taking specific action. I'm still that way."

"That's a good personality trait. Especially for someone as outspoken as you. I bet you would make a good president."

"I don't think I'd be very diplomatic."

"On second thought, you're right."

"Hey, you're not supposed to agree with me."

"I was simply looking at things from your perspective, but I do think you could be a dynamic speaker."

"I'll admit, I can be quite vocal. I'd even say that at times I'm even outspoken when communicating my viewpoints."

"Are you intimidated by people or groups?"

"Me? Are you kidding?"

"I'll take that as a no. Tammy, were you ever on the debate team when you were in school?"

"As a matter of fact, I was. I loved it. My mind is quite active. Now if you couple that with my ability to examine things from alternative perspectives, you'd find that I'm good at exposing flaws in other people's arguments. I also think that because I'm able to present my ideas very forcefully, as opposed to some other types who tend to so with timidity, my views are that much more likely to be taken seriously."

"Is there anything you find challenging?"

"Weight control. I probably shouldn't be eating this dark chocolate pie."

"Pie was made to be enjoyed. You've got to have fun once in a while."

"You're right, but there are times when I follow my ideal diet, and still end up gaining weight or having a hard time losing it.

"How so?"

It usually happens when I'm facing some major emotional turmoil like I am right now."

"Are you?"

"Yes, I'm getting ready to move to northern California for a new job, but I've lived here most of my life. It's just difficult for me, a lot of adjustments, new friends and things like that."

"I understand, but how is your weight related to your stress level?"

"You could say that my weight is actually regulated by my stress level. When Adrenals don't manage their stress well, it can easily culminate in food addiction. This is because the Adrenal glands are the main source of extra energy. You know, the Adrenalin rush. And food is an energy source, particularly when it stimulates the thyroid or adrenals."

"You look in good shape to me."

"Thanks, Johnathan. My body is very resilient. It takes a lot before I start to notice any wear and tear on myself. Sometimes I find myself eating large amounts of food and then later realize that it was an unconscious effort to numb myself against distressful feelings. The only side effect, of course, is weight gain. Seriously, the only time I find myself scarfing down a lot of food is when I'm experiencing anxiety or emotional discomfort."

"So, you're human after all."

"Yes, I am."

"I was starting to think otherwise at first."

"You were? I even suffer from feelings of insecurity like everyone else."

"What's it like feeling insecure for you?"

"Sometimes I have difficulty saying no or disagreeing with those around me. I've thought about it a lot, and I think it has to do with a secret fear I've repressed."

"What would that be?"

"This may sound silly, but the feeling is that if I divulge my true feelings I may end up being left out or abandoned."

"That doesn't sound silly, but I'm sure you don't let many people know about that."

"I usually don't. But when my self-esteem is threatened, more often than not, I'll verbally defend it. And not necessarily diplomatically. See, Johnathan, you're getting to know me already. Tact and diplomacy may be my intention, but more often than not, I end up either defending myself through verbally attacking the other person, or transfering blame onto them. I would say that another one of my personal challenges is to learn how to validate myself from within. It's important that my self-regard is less dependent on other people's responses to me. I'm learning though."

"It seems like with your intensity you could easily disregard the opinions of others. You come across as being very stubborn and head strong."

"You should have seen me three years ago. I've really worked on my emotional maturity, to balance it with my sharp mind. I don't like coming across as brash, arrogant, controlling, or aggressive, but people have told me that I do. That is, the ones who weren't scared to confront me about it."

"There's that sense of humor again, that's a good thing, Tammy "

"I do have my positive qualities. One of my close friends has really helped me bring those out. She told me that through attaining sufficient self-knowledge and insight, the forcefulness I seem to naturally project could be easily balanced and restrained. You know what? She was right."

"That's great."

"It is. So, Johnathan?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing after this? There's this great dance club down the street, want to go?"

"Hey, whoa, hold on a minute."

"What?"

"I'm not going anywhere unless you let me ask you."

"Oh, I suppose I could do that."

"Thank you. So, Tammy, what are you doing after this? There's a great dance club down. Where?"

"Down the street."

"That's right, down the street, and I was wondering if you would be interested in accompanying me there?"

"I thought you'd never ask. Let's go."